Suffering

Last weekend was Peace Corps “committee” weekend in the capital. I arrived with my fellow Peace Corps friend, Helen, on Friday just in time for lunch. We walked straight from our bus stop to the American Embassy. The American Embassy is a small piece of heaven on this island. There is a cafeteria to purchase American favorites, such as hamburgers (which is what I had for lunch that day), a free pool that all American citizens are welcome to use, HOT showers and wonderful little signs about every toilet which read “Please DO NOT throw your toilet paper in the garbage, flush it down the toilet!” I mean, if it doesn’t get more American than that, I’m not sure what does.

The weekend was busy and it started on Friday afternoon with a personal meeting between all of the Peace Corps Volunteers (PCV) in centers like mine (16 of us in total) and the new director of the centers. As mentioned in my last blog, these centers, CTC’s as we refer to them here, have been given a new director and in result many changes have been proposed to “improve” the centers. After our fancy meeting at the Santo Domingo Hilton last Monday, our Peace Corps Volunteer Leader, Kathy, requested a meeting with the new director and us volunteers working in his centers.

I have to give us PCV’s credit- we prepared a powerpoint that step-by-step outlined all the problems we had or forsaw in the director’s new plan. The meeting was nearly three hours long. One of the things this director wants to restrict /eliminate completely is the use of “chatear,” in the centers. As you may have guessed, this is the ability to “chat” on the internet, and most people do this by using MSN messenger, AIM, or other forms of instant messaging. The new director’s reasoning behind eliminating “chatear,” is to promote a more “cultural, learning experience,” within all of the centers.

Well that’s fantastic new director guy, and you can take us all out to dinner so we can discuss all of your and our idealistic goals for this country over a sophisticated imported class of Chilean red wine. But let’s get serious for a second… if you take away chatear at my center, you might as well close the doors, because there goes 80 percent of our business.

When it was my turn to present my point on this point, I started by asking the director if he had family in “Nueva York.” “Claro! (of course!)” he replied, surprised I would ask such a question. Of course this man has family in the states, and that’s precisely why I asked the question. Then I asked him how he talked to his family in the states, and he said with the phone or through the Internet. “Ahhh!, The Internet!” I replied back. “What a coincidence! So do all the people in my town! And weird, they come to the ONLY internet center in town to do so and also- this is so strange, they use programs such as CHATEAR to communicate instantaneously.” Funny thing that Internet is, letting you talk to people all over the world. Someone should do something about that eh? (I wish my Spanish could be as dripping with sarcasm as my English is, but he got my point without as much of the disdain).
The meeting ended okay, he wants each of us to write a report on our center explaining what will and will not work for us individually out of his plan. It seems like he’s interested in hearing our concerns, but I can’t help but feel everything’s been done and no matter what report we present, the changes and decisions have already been made.

The rest of committee weekend went really well. Busy, but well. I signed myself up to help with some Peace Corps projects, including the writing of our very own telenovela for kids, where we will try to explain about safe sex, self-esteem and not having to get married to make something of yourself.

I also decided to give in and purchase an internet plan. I have been thinking about this since the middle of summer, and two other volunteers in my group have already done it, and had been raving about how awesome it is to have internet whenever you want it. Because I didn’t move out on my own, I have a bit of extra money that would normally go for rent, but I will be using it to pay the internet bill. For a long time I felt guilty about having internet all the time, and that’s why I didn’t do it sooner. This feeling of, “I’m in the Peace Corps, I’m here to suffer. I’m not supposed to have normal American life pleasures like Internet 24/7.”

Thank God for Remi. As I tried to explain my feelings of guilt to him one day over the phone, he told me he didn’t understand why I thought I had to suffer in order to be a good volunteer. And he’s right. Yes, I did come here to change my life, to sacrifice all kinds of things, to push myself in ways I never thought I could. But I shouldn’t think that I have to suffer for two years in order to call this thing a success. I came here to grow, to learn and to share, but I didn’t come here to be miserable for two years.

That seems very dramatic just for buying a monthly internet plan, but it’s a good life lesson. Budgeting your money so you can afford to have a pleasure in life, such as Internet, doesn’t make you more or less of a person, or in my case, a better or worse volunteer. It just makes you a person who wants to talk with people you love more. So with that said, I have Internet friends! Let’s skype!

The week has been good otherwise. Computer and English classes are chugging along. I gave my English class their first test this week and one of my classes didn’t do so well, but my other class did really well. It’s a give and take thing. Teaching, in general, has been interesting for me. I like being in the classroom and interacting with my students, both in my computer and English classes, practicing my Spanish while they practice their new computer and English skills. I often think if I could be a teacher in the states, if I would want to do that. I feel like the language thing would make it much easier, but I still have yet to decide if teaching is my life calling. It’s only been about a month, I’ll give it some more time and let you know.

Tomorrow I am going to an all-inclusive resort with my Dona. Totally random I know. She is actually part of the International Lion’s Club here, and they are having this weekend get-away thing at a resort near Puerto Plata (which is only about 1.5 hours from us). It’s a kind-of expensive, actually really expensive considering my monthly paycheck, but when I told her all this she decided to cut September’s rent in half so I could go. Last night, I told her I just want to eat and take hot showers all weekend. She laughed and said she’d eat just as much with me. Next blog I’ll have details from this little outing.

Other than that, life continues to move. Some days are slow (like today, we were supposed to have training for my workers at my CTC, and we discussed it multiple times this week, but today, everyone had to run errands in other cities and it’s partly cloudy which could mean rain, so you know- they had to go home. Next Friday, I’m told, for four hours to make up for missing this week). Other days are much faster, and by the end of those days, I feel an overwhelming sense of relief just to be finished.

No matter the day, no matter if it was fast, slow, if I had a meeting with the new director of the CTC’s or teaching and passing time in my small Dominican town- it’s the simple pleasures that help. Like thinking about the hamburger I ate last week at the Embassy, or enjoying the fresh chinola (passion fruit) juice my family made after lunch today, or getting on the internet at 11 p.m. just because I felt like it. Yes, we were not put on this earth to suffer. We were put on this earth to be challenged and to become better people both for ourselves and all those around us. But suffering? That’s not in the cards for my Peace Corps experience at least.